Pretty in Pink

I would like to introduce you all to the ultimate women's tool....

In one fell swoop, it is now possible for a woman to kick her man out of the house, hang the damn shutters herself, and then, when she breaks a nail doing it, she can just swap out her phillips head bit for her manicure bit!!!

And, later that night, since she kicked the man out of the house, you just know that there's a "special friend" bit that comes with this item.... (optional, $19.99)

3.6v Screwdriver Kit With Manicure Tool, Pink

Special Country

Many believed this day would never come, but in a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. 

A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count our blessings - because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible. 

Today, I  thank the Lord above that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.

I already miss 2008...

Already nostalgic for the best 2008 had to offer?

Then come find the list of all lists... seriously, this thing must have about 500 different "Best/Worst/Whatever" lists covering not only 2008, but they have an archive going all the way back to 2001...

Check it HERE

What's in a name?

Ever wondered  what would happen if you looked at your name from the side? Well now you can, and it may reveal a deeper "side" of yourself than you thought!

Sideview Generator

The author also has a neat "turn your name into a weapon" generator...

Weapon Generator

I'm a bazooka, attalk lvl. 20! So don't screw with me! What did you come out as?

Breaking News!

GOP members scurry out of Washington D.C. like cockroaches escaping a house that's about to be fumigated!!!

Story HERE

Tong Hua

Ok, I ran across this song by accident, and just loved it... I'm trying to find an insturmental version, because it sounds better that way, but it's nice to have the story behind the song. At least, you have to kind of write your own story since the whole thing is in Chinese... but the video is really well done, and tells the story all by itself...

Fantasy Update

So last week was a decent week, but also expected...

Puck You Up won against the deadbeat team with a 9-1 score, losing only on penalty minutes, because, apparently, my team is a bunch of pansies when it comes to hitting the other guy...

Beasts of the East took a bit of a hit, finishing 3-5-1... this is what I meant when I said it was a good team, but not a great team... the final numbers were insanely close, I just couldn't flip those last 2 scoring catagories....

Current Season Standings:

Puck You Up 65-45-10 (T-3rd Place) 18 Pts back {roughly 9 games}

Beasts of the East 40-39-2 (6th Place) 12 games back...

This week will be interesting, as Puck You Up is facing the team that it's tied with for 3rd place... I'll need a strong showing there to take sole possesion...

Beasts of the East are most likely facing another losing week, as I'm currently up against the #2 team.... but we'll see.

Word Of The Day

sacrilege \SAK-ruh-lij\, noun:

an intentional injury to anything held sacred; disrespectful treatment of something sacred

c 1300, from Old French sacrilege, from Latin sacrilegium and sacrilegus "one who steals sacred things," from sacer "sacred" + legere "take, pick up." Transferred sense of "profanation of anything held sacred" is attested from 1390.

You can see my own personal experience with sacrilege here --->

I love Bill Simmons!!!

Good Morning!

We're starting today off with a quote from a recent article by one of my favortie sports writers, Bill Simmons. This wasn't so much an article as it was a mailbag, but here it is:

"Without Mark Teixeira, the Angels look vulnerable offensively -- especially when you remember Vlad Guerrero now walks like Greg Oden doing an impersonation of Fred Sanford pretending he's Lieutenant Dan."

I mean, that's just classic... you can view the entire mailbag for more gems here.

Ahhh... the Drunk Dial...

I have a friend... this particular friend was very excited to be watching the UFC 92 PPV event at home with his bro and some friends last night. He knew and planned ahead of time his getting completely and utterly drunk. Which meant that I knew I had a drunk dial coming...

Sure enough, at 1:03am this morning, my phone rang out with the strident tones of Numa Numa (the Japanese Cover) that I set as his ringtone (That's a whole other story...)

When I answered, I was greeted with singing... I have no idea about what, because he had apparently succeeded in his goal of getting twisted. At some point he started singing/telling me that whatever he drank, it was brown and hairy, and came in tiny little toy glasses known as shots.

He then proceeced to forget who he was talking to, and settled on calling me Bill (My name is not Bill). After I let him run with that for a while, he then forgot what his own name was, having a debate (mostly with himself) whether his current name was his old name or new name (He's currently in the middle of legally changing his name). 

So basically, this went on for about 45 minutes, while I tried my best not to pee myself... and then the dirty talk started... it was about a 10 minute rant of boobs, boobies, and so on, including my personal favorite: "Mommy Funbags"

I found out later today that this particular dumb bastard had mixed shots of Hennessy with about 5 or 6 Budweisers, which to him is the greatest beer in the world (I'm working on that).

He called me about noon... feeling the pain, and also having absolutely no recollection of the call. The first thing he said to me today was: "Did I call you last night? I did? Oh noooo.... what did I say?"

Ya gotta love the drunk dial. :)