Saturday, March 14, 2009

Ok, so it's been a while...

Hi everyone (if anyone is left)...

So I know it's been awhile since I posted, but I've been busy with the big move and getting all settled here in South Carolina. I already have some great stories, and I'll try to get back to a more regular posting schedule. 

In the meantime, I give you this (slightly gross, but somehting in here will bring a chuckle):

"Ways to annoy your bathroom neighbor"

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. "Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. "Damn, this water is cold."

6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

7. "Now how did that get there?"

8. "Hummus. Reminds me of hummus."

9. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa! Easy boy!!"

10. " Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

12. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

13. "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

14. "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

15. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

16. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous"newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

17. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

18. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."