This ain't your Sesame Street anymore...

I have a 2 year old son... his current addicitons include cooking, tourturing the dog, tourturing his parents, and Elmo; not neccessarily in that order.

So we have a DVR on our cable, and we record episodes of Sesame Street for when he needs an emergency Elmo fix.... and I've noticed a couple of somewhat odd lines and segments that they run...

Take this one for example: 

Ernie. Ernie is the rockstar of Sesame Street, and while I'm not going to go into the whole Bert and Ernie thing, I will note that Ernie seems to be the free spirit, often appearing in various sketches in drag. True, they don't call the tranny Ernie's by his (her?) name, but come on, we all know it's Ernie. 

So as he is wont to do, Ernie had broken out into song about something or other, I don't really remember what, because I was floored by this particular line in the beggining of the song:

"I can put my hands in my pocket and pretend I'm a rocket!"

Damn, Ernie.... I mean, I can't really judge you, since I've done that many a time, but still.... you're on Sesame Street dude, and the last thing I need is for my son to be running around telling people there's a rocket in his pocket... although to be honest, I would probably encourage that just for the comedy...

Then there's Telly, the lovable, excitable, triangle loving jester of Sesame Street... he is a constant source of amusement to me for some reason... I just enjoy the antics of Telly. 

A little background on this one: 

On this particular day, he and another character (Baby Bear if you must know), had borrowed a magical book from the fairy (and I do mean fairy... wings, magic wand, the works) that flits around the hood. Now this particular book made noises in relation to whatever the subject of the book was doing... in this case "Action Dog". Now, when action dog was about to ride a horse, you would hear the sound of a horse, you know, making horse sounds....

Next up was the motorcycle... and this is where Telly got me... they turned the page, and heard the motorcycle sounds. Baby Bear said "wow, what's that???" to which Telly responded:

"Oh! I know! It's a herd of lactose intolerant Antelope who just ate a wheel of cheese!"

I shit you not, that is an actual quote from the show...

Wow Telly, just wow. Now I know why I love you... you randomly come up with insane shit like that. But it's sure not the Sesame Street I grew up with...